Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dignity is for republicans.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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