My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
