Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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