Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
