but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
