Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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