Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
