Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
