also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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