I wish I could punch you in the face.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
