This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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