you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
