we're making bets on your personal life
Less talking, more tequila
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
