so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize