just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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