But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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