his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
