i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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