I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
