she woke up with a sticky ear
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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