I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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