Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
