I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
