he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
