I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
