He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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