Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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