no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
