Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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