now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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