took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
