there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
