I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
