If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have feelings that need drinking.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
