You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My dick has a subreddit
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
