You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ladies don't puke and tell
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize