u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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