You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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