apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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