just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize