white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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