Kiss
Puke
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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