You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
