He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
