before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
