I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
