He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
