bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
