Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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