Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
