quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
