I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My ass is underappreciated
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
