we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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