Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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