I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
