You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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