The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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