I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
