Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
