Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
