if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I did not marry a roomba.
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