you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
