I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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