Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
