ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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