OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
