i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize