i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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