She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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